mariposa diaries, the conclusion

I just wrote a lengthy conclusion to the diaries and promptly lost it. It's too much to rewrite it again, so I hope to tell you all the story when I see you again.

Mariposa (duck diaries) Part III

First let me preface this by saying that I was deeply invested emotionally in the survival of mariposa’s clutch of eggs, although in the end I realize I didn’t know enough to provide her with the safest environment for their survival. Three or four nights before ducklings hatched, we had a visit from a possum, who I scared away when I heard Mariposa’s calls of distress. That night, after that close call, I stay on vigil until dawn, and past dawn, once I knew that the crows had also moved on to other locales.

The night before the ducklings were born, I again heard Mariposa’s distressed calls, arriving to find a raccoon on top of the nest. I scared away this mamma raccoon and chased her two babies up a tree. Again, I stayed in vigil. They had eaten a few eggs but the rest were saved, apparently. I remember returning one egg to the nest and waited a long time before Mariposa returned to reorganize and sit on the clutch of eggs that remained. The next day, three ducklings hatched. Two were not strong enough to survive and died next to the nest. A third, who Tati named Rufio, was indeed precocious and ready to take the journey and follow mama to the water where Rufio would feed and grow. Four eggs remained unhatched. It was around seven o’clock in the evening when Tati woke me to tell me that it looked like Mariposa and Rufio were going to take their walk to the water.

When I came down, Mari was acting skitterish, quacking as if she sensed danger in the air. Rufio followed faithfully behind, at times stumbling underneath mama’s own footfalls and then gamely regaining her own footing, intent on staying close. In this way, despite her own concerned quacking and observing, Mari set off with Rufio, and Tati and our neighbors were recording the journey with camera and camcorder. We intended to follow as unobtrusively as possible behind the pair, although we were still cautious about the potential dangers of the journey. They didn’t get much farther than two apartments along the walkway when out of nowhere a hawk swooped down and swept Rufio away. I still remember hearing the scream that Tati let out—before I even realized what happened-- and seeing the little body swaying from the hawk’s powerful talons. Mari flew in pursuit but soon returned. Apparently there were two hawks, because they swooped down again, either looking for more ducklings or looking to take Mari. Again Tati let out a grief-stricken scream that I will never forget. Mari survived, but she remained in the spot where Rufio was taken, quacking non stop and appearing confused and disoriented. I saw one of the hawks in a nearby tree and tried to hit it with a rock, because I was so upset about what had happened. It was beautiful and I hated it and I scared it away with my rock throwing.

Mari continued to walk up and down the walkway, as if she were still protecting Rufio and vigilant of potential dangers. It was the most heartbreaking feeling watching Mari, it defies my imagination and my attempts to describe it—the feeling of being so suddenly bereft. Eventually she returned to her nest and the clutch of four eggs that remained.